just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
