There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
