in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
