I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
