Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
