Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wish there were birth control emojis
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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