he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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