so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
