Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
