I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
