Life is so much better after having sex.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
