Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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