Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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