Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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