I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
