ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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