eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
