I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
