I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
