this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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