that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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