so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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