Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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