i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
