8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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