You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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