Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
