How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer