I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in