some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face