Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.