yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
