How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize