listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
His nipple licking is glorious
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