I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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