im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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