Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
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i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That's how pantless uber rides happen