Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
