I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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