Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
