i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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