when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
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For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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