We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
