You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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