Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
