She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
