this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
