I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
