Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
