I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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