Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
