I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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