to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
