Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
