i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
