this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My liver just had a heart attack.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
