I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
