what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
