My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
